Well, no more daily reports from this end.
Things have been going quite smoothly. Guy is straight and although in the back of my mind I am not 100% sure, I am happy not to question it. I am too busy, anyway.
Finals are in approximately ten weeks. I have re-joined rowing and there’s a big race in two and a bit weeks. There’s an essay to rush and maybe a job to apply for as well.
On top of that, electives to sort out. Summer holidays to plan. Driving exams to apply and study for. Family to call (and visit). Friends to catch up with and………
Life’s too short to be sitting here. Sleep time!!
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The thing is, he’s got to much to lose by coming out with it. He’s got you to lose. And what if you go banging pots around the neighbourhood telling everyone how he betrayed you? He’s got a double whammay and may have to move away. His life would be in shambles and his secret would be everywhere. He would have to start over.
The question is: why do you help his denial? I speak from experience. What is it in you that resonates with this – what of you believes you deserve betrayal? What of you hates to be lied to but lets it happen? And what about the suspicion, that eats you up, the piecing together of events, stories, alibis? Its a full time job! Perhaps its a convenient distraction from really facing the problem, taking control of your life, and moving toward what will ease your mind and make you happy. There are straight guys out there, and more importantly, there is a lid for your pot.
I have come to a new realization, that for whatever reason, I need to take the sword from his hand, plunge it into the sky and declare my freedom!
I suggest you do the same.
And on another note, think of what this is doing to him? How it is eating at him. Hoe he must always be careful. He is trapped just as you are. Allow him the freedom to be himself.
It sucks. I know.
xox
What freedom are you speaking of when you say his life will be in shambles if I told everyone he’s betrayed me because he came out? If he has freedom, why would he have to move away? How would he have freedom if his secret remains a secret?
What? What? WHAT?! What are you talking about?
Straight guys? Whoa, how many really exist? Alfred Kinsey’s study on 5000 white males basically showed that every two out of five men have had sex with other men. That’s just the numbers that have done the practical side! 40%! I personally believe at least 50% of males are homosexual or have such tendencies. The other three outta five may be contemplaters some where close to acting on their thoughts, maybe? Point is, don’t go telling me about chasing super straight men out there because I am a skeptic about their existence. You men just want yourselves all to yourselves plus women, cheeky things. Hehehe.
Of course I am aware of the possibility of fueling his denial but hey, what’s the point of pushing him and myself down that path when we become ABSOLUTELY miserable because of it? We gave it a shot and were both crippled by being friends and him trying to be gay when he doesn’t even want to have a relationship, sexual or emotional with a man.
Don’t take his sword to declare your freedom. Get your own and plunge it into the air. I think he is quite happy where he is.
Things don’t suck atm w him. I am, however, busied by administrative things that I abhor to the max.
Ok, we gotta study for exams. See yaz. Thx for ur comment.